That Wench
by Warrioroftheseventhstar
Summary: Zoro's thoughts on Nami. His feelings up till about episode 218. Sanji insults. Arlong hatred. More language than usual. Hey, it IS Zoro. Please read and review the story.


On Nami

Zoro's point of View:

The annoying red haired demon joined our crew right after me. She may be the worst woman on these seas, but she is the best navigator that I've ever heard of. But for the first few of our adventures, I knew she was hiding something dark.

You could see it in her wide brown eyes every time she looked over the sea or at me and Luffy. A mourning kind of look. The same look I carry around when I see that Marine. What's her name? Oh yeah, Tashigi.

I wasn't sure if it was just a death of a loved one or some crime. That is, until I had to shake her shoulder to get her attention. She flinched away while clenching her eyes shut. I didn't let it show, but I knew right then that she was in trouble, and whoever was pulling the strings behind it wasn't going to leave me and Luffy with a good end.

Stupid Bastard that I was, I never tried to pry it out of her. Maybe if I had, she wouldn't have stolen our ship when she left to go see the Shark bastard, you know, after the DA cook joined the frickin crew.

When we got there, I was so pissed off at her, that I just wanted to drag her on the ship, go find a small island in the middle of nowhere, and throw her on it, never to be seen again. Then I found out what had made her eyes so haunted. I had always thought that pirates were the lowest of the low, but Arlong took the bastard cake. What kind of a living thing has the audacity to kill a little kid's mother in frickin front of the kid and then goes and forces the kid to join their crew? A sick F***ing bastard is who. Like I said, Arlong took the bastard cake.

Never thought I would thank my stupid inability to go where I want to, but it got me to the bastard's base. I enjoyed every slice my blade gave them when I got out of there, thanks to the red haired demon. In retrospect, I shouldn't have made her save me in front of the entire fish stick crew. But hey, I needed to know if Nami was on my "back stabbing b**chs to kill" list. Thankfully, she wasn't. Then she gave me back my only unbroken sword, and freed me. But mostly gave me back my katana.

Can't remember if I thanked her for that. Maybe she took me massacring the crew as thanks, I don't really care. She and I fight a lot, and I admit that I cause it sometimes. Alright, most of the time. I like to get her mad, makes her seem more human than the happy little act she puts on for the shitty cook. You know the one where she sticks her chest out at him and smirks seductively. Or she may sit a certain way that lets more of her legs be seen than should be legal. Then again, we're pirates. Back to the whole story.

Maybe if he got the hearts out of his eyes, he would see she was faking it. Then again, if it has boobs, and wears a skirt, he has hearts in his eyes.

Besides me seeing her as a human for the first time, I also got to see the most inhuman side of Luffy at Arlong's with the fish stick crew. Never let it be said he doesn't have some feelings for that girl. Anytime that she is in trouble, this demon like mood comes out of Luffy and is after a lot of blood and death. I keep thinking that the next time he does it, his eyes will glow red; like people use to say mine did.

Got to say though, if he ever came after me like that, I might be afraid too, just a little.

I will also admit to a small, as in it almost isn't there small, protectiveness of her. What can I say? She saved me from my bad sense of direction one too many times for me to hate her or even dislike her completely. Plus a real smile from her (as in the ones that aren't directed at Sanji) that doesn't have to do with her getting her way is always a reward.

Then she finally got us to the Grand Line. I thought Luffy would never stop screaming, "I'm Gonna be the Pirate King!" You would think he would understand that we all know what his dream is. We _don't_ need it yelled in our frickin ear every single time he breaths. I was just about to slam something in his mouth that not even he could swallow, when Nami said something to get him to shut it.

I just nodded my thanks before going right back to sleep.

In Alabasta, I worried about her when I was fighting Mr. 1. The stupid wench just wouldn't hide like I told her too. No, she had to run off! In retrospect that did help me out in the end, seeing as how me and Mr. 1 destroyed that entire block. And she learned how to use her weapon. I have to admit that I do like that she carries that blue stick thing. Keeps me from having to save her all the time.

What? You don't believe I do that? Here, let me strip this shirt off and show you all the scars I have from her and her stupid self.

Then the wench made me give her a piggy back ride across town! I had just returned from the point of death and she was making me toot her around like a delicate princess. Then she made me feel bad when Pell died. I didn't even know the son of a gun! But let me say that to her and all hell broke loose! My poor head was throbbing for well over a month.

It almost made more forget how worried I was for her at that snowy island were we picked up Chopper. I was trying to freeze it out of my mind when I decided to strip down to my pants and go swimming. Of course it was wonderful endurance training.

The bastard cook really annoys me though. I know that is a really big surprise, but do try to keep yourself reading this.

He is always making Robin and Nami food. I do think if one of them said for him to go and drowned himself he wouldn't even question it. He thinks I don't know about that battle with Mr. 2. Ha! I know that he nearly lost because the guy changed his face to look like Nami. Honestly, can't the guy tell that she wants a guy that she can respect? As in Luffy and I.

I have to wonder though, what does she do when she goes and hides in her tangerine grove? She will check the course for a moment and then she will disappear for a while longer. Honestly, if she is eating those fruits she is going to start turning orange! Ha! That would fix Sanji!

Then when we found that baka, Foxy. Honestly, if he didn't have self esteem issues I've never seen anyone that did. When Nami and Usopp used that 180 strategy on him, I was about to laugh my frickin head off! That guy's crew didn't appreciate a perfect pirate. Seriously, they thought that Nami was evil just because she used her brain to win against them. Though it was fun to destroy those giants. They really know how to piss a guy off! That darn referee wouldn't let me use my swords. If he had, it would have been over in seconds.

I have to admit though, Nami can be completely evil. My head will testify to that. Honestly, look at all the bruises and bumps my head has because she got angry at me. Is it my fault that when I am not working or fighting, I sleep? No that is just good old common sense. I want her to push her body to the limits that I do and see if she doesn't sleep a lot as well. So I try to intimidate the answers out of people. Is she trying to tell me after all the work I have done in my life, that I can't even enjoy some of the few perks that all of this muscle gives me.

I drink a lot. She sure can't get mad at me for it! Luffy drove me to it! I swear. Plus she has out drunk me few times! Then she gets mad at me for the SUPER rare times that I actually am drunk. Happens once a year and she always needs me for something the next day. Is it truly my fault that I get a teeny tinny hangover? So I get a little angry if people mess with me when I'm trying to sleep it off. Is it a crime to be pissed off when you get a hangover? It isn't like I've cut the stinking ship in half or anything.

I could understand her frustrations being taken out on my head if I did. But I haven't, have I? Nope. Yet I still wake up 60 percent of the time to my poor head being pounded into the deck. What is her issue with men sleeping?

There is a silent agreement between me and the rest of the crew, "_Let me sleep and I will always protect you, and I will never kill you."_ Why can't she be on board for that?

In retrospect, maybe it's because she hasn't needed to give me anything for me to do that. Maybe she is the only one that realizes all of the things I can't and the things I will do to these dysfunctional nakama? Or maybe she just doesn't care.

Of all the annoying things that Nami does, the worst is not picking someone. Every single guy on this ship (excluding Usopp, Franky, and Chopper) has had fleeting moments of interest in her. In the cook's case, not so fleeting. If she would just choose someone already, we could all move on with our lives and live like a pirate crew should.

Or maybe she doesn't choose because the three of us are the strongest. It is possible that the two that she doesn't choose will attack the one that she does in a moment of blind anger.

Huh, maybe that orange haired girl is smarter than I give her credit.

……… Nah!

Or could it be….

Nah!

Whatever, time to go back to sleep!

ZNZNZNZNZNZNZNZN

Just something that I thought Zoro would think about Nami. I might have another chapter up, or this could be a one-shot. I don't know. Anyway, please review!


End file.
